Your grace is enough...

It has been an emotional weekend for us around here. And I don't know that I am really ready to make this post, but I also need to share my personal account of how God was present and made His love known to me throughout this difficult time.

On Friday morning we said goodbye to a family member, one that came to us by chance 12 1/2 years ago. It was as if he was chosen just for us and looking back, I KNOW that we were chosen just for him. Had either end of that communion not happened, none of us would be who we are today. Duke of Waterford Court was his paper name. Dukas Sebastian Wesley of Waterford Court was his given name. (I would love to hear McKenna hollering that out the backdoor right now. For he was always the one to fiddle fart. Which brings up one of his endearing nicknames, King of the fiddle farts.) He was also referred to as bubba, our firstborn, buddah, hog gut, and lemon. He had his share of faults, but those became the things that we loved about him most. He has been everywhere with us. And he was always up for another move. As long as we were together, he was fine. (And we were too.) I guess that is really what family is all about.

Those who know me, know that my boys are very much a part of my heart. They are more than animals to me and probably the reason why I didn't have a desire to be a Mom. I WAS a Mom. A Mom to a couple of sweet schnauzers. And I was not ready to send one to Jesus.

This wasn't an overnight occurance. (Thank you, Lord. You knew I needed some time to ease myself into this absence.) I told Duke several months ago, during one of our snuggle sessions, that he was going to have to tell me when he was ready. I wasn't going to be able to make that decision for him. Well, last week he started having seizures, which were a side effect of the cancer & tick diseases. He has had a couple before, but we were able to get them to stop and subside for months at a time. Well, not this week. They just kept coming. Thursday night he had a total of 6 before the seizure medication kicked in and allowed him to rest and Me & Shannon to breathe for the first time in 3 hours. That is when I knew. Of course I tried to talk myself out of it. Saying that a miracle is possible and Friday morning after he rested, he would be fine. Well, he wasn't. He couldn't even hold his body weight on his feeble legs. I couldn't believe what the day was unveiling to me. How could this be the end? How could 12 1/2 years fly by so quickly? How was I going to be able to do this? Through the sobbing, all I could hear was "Your grace is enough, your grace is enough, your grace is enough for me." At first it was just a prayer from my soul. Knowing, the ONLY way I was going to get through this was to rely on my Savior for strength. So I retreated to my special place, sat down, and filled my heart and mind with his precious word.

After an hour or so, Shannon called and said he was going to be coming home so that we could go together. Almost within minutes, the song (prayer) that I had been hearing in my soul began to play on the Sirus radio station that I leave on my television all day. Another reminder, that He is here and He knows. I spent a lot of time with Him this past weekend. More that I normally do. He kept calling me. I couldn't focus on anything, except Him. And when I wasn't reading or meditating or studying, I felt exhausted. He is truly the breath, the life. So, I was anxious for church on Sunday. However, during praise and worship I just felt so disconnected. As the singing was coming to a close, I just prayed that He would bring me back in. Let me know that He sees me and that He knows. The band started a new song and I opened my eyes and started reading from the teleprompter. The song was familiar. And when the chorus popped onto the screen, I lost it...."Your grace is enough, your grace is enough, your grace is enough for me!" I have never felt so special or in awe of this AWESOME God we serve!!! He is as real as anyone who has entered my life. He knows me like no other and loves me always. He is the only reason I need to carry on. To fulfill His will for my life. He has called each of us to greatness! But the beautiful thing about this calling is, He doesn't expect or even want you to do it alone! He wants you to need and depend on Him! Give Him a chance to put you in a state of awe!

Thank you Father for your love and concern. You are beautiful and I love you.......

Here is our sweet Duke with KK and Prinnie (white schnauzer) last year during McKenna's 5th birthday session. This family won't be the same without you, but we wouldn't trade the memories for anything. We love you, buddah......See you on the rainbow bridge....

Become like little children...

I am just 2 days into my first Beth Moore study (Jesus, the One and Only) and I am already amazed at the thought invoking dialogue and the new lens I have been blessed with. Seeing His word come alive and "walking" His path, I feel like a child again.

Today's lesson compared two very similiar happenings in the prophesy of Christ. First Zechariah was told of the son he would finally be blessed with after waiting so long. The other, a virgin, who would become the vehicle with which our Savior would come to earth to be with us, was told of her future state. That she would birth Our King.

Both of these are miracles. Both were spoken by the mouth of the Angel Gabriel while the recipients were alone. The difference comes in how the messages were received. Zechariah questioned, "How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years?" (Luke 1:18) Mary asked the angel, "How will this be, since I am a virgin?" (Luke 1:34) Just looking at the two situations it is easier for me to believe the happenings of Zechariah's situation. Because it takes two, a man and a woman to create a baby. We have heard of women having 'miracle babies' after being told by specialists they could never bare a child. And he also had the recount of Sarah, Abraham's wife. But you can also see where Zechariah's wisdom or age clouded his mind with the ailments of an aging body. (Some times questions that come with age are a hinderance and cause angels to bind our tongues!)

Then you go onto Mary. A child herself in today's standards. Old enough to know the how's, but young enough to trust completely the words that penetrated her soul. After hearing that, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God....For nothing is impossible with God." (Luke 1:35-37) She replied, "I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said." (Luke 1:38)

There is a reason why God chose her. She was highly favored we read. But let us go even further. Her youthfulness provided an innocence that we should all seek. Children love so purely. They trust completely. They worship without restrictions. They celebrate with their entire being. That is what He asks of us.

"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

Lay down your judgements. Those that you have of yourself. Those that you have of others. Look differently, with the eyes of a Savior. Allow your heart to Love as a child. Dance and worship for God and Him alone! And trust in Him. Better yet, TRUST HIM! Remember....

"Your Father knows what you need before you ask him." Matthew 6:8

Thank you Father for another opportunity to serve you this day. I pray that your word stirs in the hearts of your people, those that you seek and those that are walking with you. Allow us to lay this world down. Strengthen our love relationship with you. Ignite a passion, where seeking your face is all that consumes our days and nights. Make us like little children, submissive to your will for our lives. For YOU are ALL that MATTER! My life is yours! In your precious name, Amen.

Happy New Year!!

God loves you! He seeks you with the same passion and desire to commune that caused Him to create Adam & Eve. He longs to dwell in us and among us. (2 Cor. 6:16)

I challenge you to spend time each day in His word. To step out in faith. To trust that every valley and mountain is to bring glory to His name. To have confidence that the fire's of our lives are a blessing, a gift from Him, so that we will know ourselves better. So we will be able to repent, make corrections and walk toward Him and not away.

Remember this day, that feeling of your first glimpse of His greatness. That love affair that comes from opening your heart to the One who placed eternity there. (Ecc. 3:11) A promise that if we walk in obediance of our Father, we will rejoice in Heaven. I look forward to that day.

It is going to be a GREAT year.....Love and blessings, Renee